We won't sleep together?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
