i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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