I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
