I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize