On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
