You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just want to make out with him forever
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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