I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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