She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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