hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
