he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
