She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i've created a new STD.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
