Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
