She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
