you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
