imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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