He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
