Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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