hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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