So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I've blown a few things in my day
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize