Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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