I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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