Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
