You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
