Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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