So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I will be naked everywhere
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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