I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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