Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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