why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
pray to the hookup gods
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
