I think I died a long time ago.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
