You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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