Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
