Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
