Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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