is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
