Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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