Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
