he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I fill condoms, not promises.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Still dying that you shit outside
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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