I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
