Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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