well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
