so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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