hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
