Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
