I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
