Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
