What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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