just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize