I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
