he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
