time to smoke my breakfast
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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