I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
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