You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
