he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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