Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
