Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
