Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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