Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
