SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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