best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Two words: nipple clamps
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