PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
